When most people hear the word trauma, they think of extreme events: war, abuse, car accidents. But trauma isn’t always about what happened - sometimes it’s about what didn’t.
At its core, trauma is any experience that overwhelms your ability to cope in the moment and makes you feel unsafe in your body, your relationships, or the world afterwards.
Trauma Can Look Like:
Growing up with emotionally unavailable or unpredictable caregivers
Being constantly criticized or dismissed
Feeling unseen, unheard, or not good enough
Living through illness, poverty, racism, or other systemic stressors
Losing someone without the space or support to grieve
Trauma doesn’t just live in your past; it lives in your nervous system. That’s why it can show up in your present in ways you don’t always expect.
How Trauma Might Be Showing Up In Your Everyday Life
You struggle to relax, even when nothing is “wrong”
You feel anxious or irritable out of nowhere
You overextend yourself or avoid people entirely
You shut down during conflict or become overly accommodating
You carry a deep sense of shame or ‘not-enoughness’
You have chronic health symptoms that don’t fully resolve
These patterns aren’t flaws. They’re survival strategies that were wise at the time, but they may be outdated now.
Healing Trauma Isn’t About “Getting Over It”
It’s about creating safety where there was once overwhelm. It’s about helping your body understand that it’s okay to rest, to receive, to set boundaries, to connect. “Getting over it” is often a sentiment fueled by ego, societal conditioning, and “shoulds” - not necessarily what your nervous system needs to heal. In therapy, creating safety may involve:
Slowing down and gently tracking sensations in the body
Rewriting the story you’ve carried about who you are and what you deserve
Processing painful memories in a way that feels safe and contained
Reclaiming joy, connection, and presence
Trauma healing rarely follows a straight path. Some days will feel expansive; others, like you’ve taken ten steps back. This doesn’t mean therapy (or whatever healing modality you’ve chosen) isn’t working, it means your nervous system is learning how to feel safe again. As you heal you may notice:
Stronger boundaries where there used to be people-pleasing
A clearer sense of what you want and don’t want
The ability to pause instead of react
The ability to be in stillness or quiet in moments you used to distract or “stay busy” (less scrolling, constant podcasts or music playing at all times)
Grief surfacing after years of numbness
Small moments of joy feeling surprisingly big or revelatory
You Deserve Support
You don’t need to justify your trauma. You don’t need to wait until it’s “bad enough.” If something is impacting your body, mind, relationships, or daily life, that’s reason enough to seek support.